My life was in “go-mode” a rocket ship blasting off into space without looking back until the universe made me slow down. Out of no where, on a full moon, my car was hit while parked. It was so damaged that the other guy left his front bumper behind and my car un-drivable. I was so confused as to why this happened. I began to ask “Why did I create this for myself?” Even my ego jumped in giving me horrible advice but because of the patience I have been practicing and asking questions I began to think about all the reasons why this could have happened. I didn’t blame myself and I did not blame the man that hit me. What I became proud of is the fact I didn’t freak out. I had my emotions surface, feel them and then let go. Coming to a place of understanding that maybe I held space for that man who hit me to go through a growth. For me I realized it was about experiencing those emotions. “Why me?” but not taking it into a toxic thought whirlpool.
Not only did car get mangled but my ability to get around easily because that’s what I do most of the time is drive around and feel like I’m doing energy work where ever I travel to. Other things began to shift, my film editing work was lost after 4 hours of work, the insurance began to say they wouldn’t be able to cover it all, I even had a yeast infection, I began to have bad acne again, felt heavier than usual. WTF! BUT I was still going through life and having the most amazing experiences. When you’re in a mind set and using affirmations like “I love my life!” the universe still supports you.
I had to grow through each and everyone of those things to realize different aspects of myself that was being neglected. The car unfolded everything that led me to do a Tarot reading for myself and it evolved around the card Death, how perfect. The death of ego and just to add more to that was the Two Towers that surrounded my question of why this accident happened. I began to shift the way I was thinking or better yet, realizing how much I was not thinking about myself. Myself being what I NEED, a chance to settle down, slow down and ask myself what I wanted. My head was everywhere, I needed a re-balance. That’s why car accidents stand happen, to show that there is an imbalance within your life.
It’s been only a couple weeks since the accident and I feel as though I have healed some deep rooted issues that have been blocking me from my next chapter in life. What I needed was to take the time to heal myself, slow down, tell myself that everything will be ok, surrender, and trust this beautiful life.